On Proverbs 4:19

~This afternoon, drained by the demands of the week, Trevan and I took a two-hour nap...The result? It is 1:15 in the morning and I am still awake...~

Changing Lanes is definitely an insightful movie. Samuel L. Jackson plays a recovering alcoholic who is trying to get his life back on track. In one nightmarish day, however, he looses his temper after getting into an accident with a lawyer, played by Ben Affleck. The mess that follows for Jackson's character includes, loosing his wife and sons, being bankrupt, almost killing the lawyer, and being arrested. His AA sponsor finally bails him out of jail. After many excuses, Jackson proudly announces, that although he has had a crazy day, he has not had a drink. A sarcastic smile later, his sponsor informs him that alcohol has never been Jackson's drug of choice. "You are addicted to chaos", he tells Jackson.

When placed in the context of Proverbs 4:19, this phrase makes a lot of sense. The Bibles says, "The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what they stumble over." Although most of us would not willingly put ourselves in the "wicked" category, I believe most of us are in "deep darkness".

Jackson thought he was an alcoholic. He spent hours at AA meetings, completing the steps, and staying away from bars. While his real addiction, "chaos", remaining wildly unchecked. We try to loose weight, abstain from eating meat, stop wearing jewelry and go to church every week, thinking that this will help us get our lives back on track. While we willingly remain in deep darkness about our real addictions (vanity, selfishness, pride, legalism, anger, judgmentalism). It is much easier to avoid alcohol than it is to avoid chaos. You can throw out all the alcohol in your house, stay away from bars, and get a buddy to stop you from drinking at parties. But chaos, well you can find that anywhere. The same is true for vanity and pride. We can get rid of the earrings and the make-up, but our vanity will show up in other places (our cars, our clothes, our children's good behavior)

In Proverbs 4, God calls His children to seek wisdom and understanding from Him. "The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day." (Prov. 4:18). No longer do we need to live in darkness! Notice that this verse does not claim that the darkness will be lifted immediately. But as we see ourselves and our addictions for what they really are, and as we go to God for help in overcoming them, the darkness will slowly be lifted until full day dawns in our lives. Once that happens, we will no longer be obsessed with the external manifestations of our addictions. We will finally be free!

So stop self-diagnosing and self-medicating. You might be treating a symptom!