"healthier". At any rate, all the preparation for this wedding got me thinking about the ease with which we fall under the "wedding spell".Once the wedding festivities began I noticed, with amusement, the effects this "spell" was having on everyone. Ladies walked around with perfectly manicured and pedicured nails, new outfits and elaborate accessories to accompany these outfits. Guys were wearing tuxedos, pulling out chairs for women they were not interested in, and complaining about their shoes - yes, they complain about uncomfortable shoes too.
Trevan and I completely ignored out lack of rhythm and joined other good Adventist (including Trev's parents) in dancing to Beyonce's Crazy and MC Hammer's "Can't touch this" among other songs.
The festivities even got to Trev's 96 year-old grandma Keough who wanted some Champaign
even though she has never had alcohol in her entire life. Trevan assured me she was simply joking when she said that, but I wonder if the spell got to her too!Although I kept telling myself that this departure from my good breeding was for the sake of the happy couple, it sounded more like rationalization than reality. The bottom line is that the beauty of weddings is that they allow us to blame someone else - the happy couple - for our conduct. Whether it was having to pay $50 for a hair cut, or $40 for shoes, or dancing like a total fool, we allow ourselves to truly embrace life because at no other time can we blame someone else for our indulgence...Maybe pregnancy is the only other time women can blame their behavior on someone else.
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3 comments:
Your comments about the "wedding spell" got me to thinking about the "post wedding blues" which might be similar to post partum blues after the birth of a child.
There is so much anticipation for a wedding with months of preparation for an event that usually lasts about thirty minutes and a two or three hour party afterwards. The bride tries to find a dress, bridesmaids dresses, flower girl dresses, shoes, hairstyle, and the list could go on and on. Careful attention is given to the program and finding appropriate music, readings, and speaker. Food is a big deal but what should you serve when there are quite a few vegetarians to attend? You have to find a hotel where everyone will stay and then there are the other meals around the event. People fly in from everywhere to attend. The money spent is huge.
People have asked how I felt to take Heather down the center aisle. To be honest, I was so worried about the duet I was about to sing with Elmer Carreno that I didn't have any strong emotional feelings.
However, two days later it hit which is what I call "post wedding blues." I suddenly realized that you, Shari, are married to our only son and now Patrick is married to our only daughter, Heather. No longer will that very direct connection be present where in some way we were ultimately responsible for our children's well-being and care. Someone else has taken over that responsibility and for about five seconds I paused to think about the implications of this change in my psychology. It feels good to know both of our children have such good and dependable spouses but there was a moment of sadness ("blues").
I also thought that for Norma and me our immediate family will probably never be together again in such a happy setting. Funerals will bring us together. The birth of grandchildren will be celebrated but the whole family won't gather to celebrate.
Of course, in a few years the children will become the parents to the parents which will be another big transition of huge change.
These are the exciting cycles of life.
I have attended a few weddings so far this year and I still have one more to go. I was either playing for the wedding or part of the bridal party.
To be honest, I had the blues. I have been having the blues for years. The closer it got to the wedding, the more frustrated I would get. I would complain, fuss, and have the blues. I was just not excited at all. I would not spend the money to get a pedicure, manicure, have my hair all gelled up for an event. The losing weight I will try to do but it would not be for the wedding. I have been trying to lose weight forever! Nothing new there.
I just do not understand why we pay sooooo much for a few hours. Weddings are such a beautiful event but people become Bridezilla's over it. People refinance their homes, max their credit cards, compete over other weddings, and more. Even the bridemaids go all out. I refuse! Lol!!
I guess it is all worth it at the end. When I get married I will follow up with you and let you know if I have become a Bridezilla or have remain a simple girl.
It is amazing how people experience different emotions during weddings and it is okay. It is great that someone is actually expressing those feelings so that others do not feel alone.
Mr. Dick Osborn has mentioned how he and Norma will probably never be together again in happy settings. My family were thinking the same thing this past weekend after my cousin wedding. Soon, we will only meet in Funerals. That is life. I can only say, I can not wait until Christ return where the only family reunions will be in happy settings.
I live in DC this summer and ate Sabbath lunch with Ron Osborn and family both before the wedding and after. While Ron wasn't exactly in the gym prepping, I recall dress talk before and it was great to hear stories about the wedding - interesting to see the impact of a gathering on a family across America and even in the blogosphere.
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